Sunday, October 10, 2010

Two Years

Last night Daddy and I tried to stay up and watch a movie. We started at 11:30 p.m. so I only made it into the intro practically before I fell asleep. I was in such a deep sleep that Daddy couldn't wake me when he went up to bed. I finally awoke with that "Ugh, I slept on the floor feeling again." I thought it was probably 2 a.m. or so and went to look at the clock on the stove. 4:10 a.m.....Without even having to think about it, I was in her room again, holding her hand, saying goodbye but two years earlier.

4:04 a.m., October 10, 2008 after a long battle (10 years) with Alzheimer's my mom was whisked to her heavenly home where I trust that she was immediately healed. What a joy it had to be for her to talk, not just talk but talk to her Jesus whom she believed in and walk by HIS side, sing, dance, smile. I have not a shadow of doubt that I will see her again someday. She is there waiting with my brother, other family members who have also been called home, and a precious baby that I never was able to hold our meet but she has.

As I looked at the clock, 4:10 a.m I recalled just a year ago being at my dad's house to be with him on the one year anniversary of her death. I awoke around 4:oo a.m. that night also and on my dad's radio Rosanne Cash was being interviewed on NPR for her new cd The List. She sang one of her dad, Johnny Cash's song. Mimi LOVED Johnny Cash! How appropriate.

I just think it is really cool that I have been roused from sleep each year so far right at the time Mimi went Home. God is cool like that. He is in all of the details.

One detail that amazes me and gives me such joy is the smile that Peanut bears. There is hardly a day that goes by that she doesn't flash a smile at me and I am in a split second seeing my mom's smile. It is a certain little grin that she has, her eyes get all squinty and her nose wrinkled and there is my mom looking at me for just a moment. I know I am the only one who sees it, but that's ok, I think it was meant for me. This isn't the exact smile. It comes in flashes and seconds so I haven't been able to catch it on camera, but this is close.
While we were at Gigi's house last weekend, we went to the cemetery to Mimi's grave. I made a new floral arrangement for her headstone for the fall months. Peanut hugged and kissed Mimi's stone too which I am sure made Mimi smile. The girls ran all over and giggled while we to Mimi's ears.
Mimi's Grave
Another little detail that is really neat is that Pumpkin in all of her chattering constantly repeats, "Mimi, Mimi, Mimi." She has no idea what she is saying but I hear Mimi's name so often throughout the day from the little girl who was forming in my womb when we said goodbye to Mimi.

His details are meant to comfort and they do. They bring a smile to my face as does the picture of my mom right at eye level by my kitchen sink. I wash dishes, look at her and tell her all the things I want to tell her so many times through out the day.

I miss you, Mom. I know you are in a much better place. Sing me a song today!
Mimi's Grave
Love me tender,
Love me sweet,
Never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
And I love you so.

Love me tender,
Love me true,
All my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin I love you,
And I always will.

Love me tender,
Love me long,
Take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong,
And well never part.

Love me tender,
Love me dear,
Tell me you are mine.
Ill be yours through all the years,
Till the end of time.

(when at last my dreams come true
Darling this I know
Happiness will follow you
Everywhere you go).

(words & music by vera matson - elvis presley)

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